Death & Cupcakes
by Violet Lunar Wolf
Summary: Kefka goes in search of the answer to the timeless question - do Tonberries taste like berries? The answer isn't quite what he expected, but at least he found a suitable gift for his favorite Esper.


**Death & Cupcakes**

Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy characters, names and place belong to Square Enix. I own nothing that you recognize.

 _Written for the Second Halloween event at the Imperial Palace._

 _Prompt - lantern_

A/N: For those of you who aren't familiar with the OC in this story, Floof is a character that was created by Lamia of the Dark and was later reinvented by schizelle. Floof, aka Cotton Candy Creature, is the Esper of Cotton Candy who serves as Kefka's beloved pet and faithful companion. It's like Kefka and Terra minus the creepy, abusive relationship.

* * *

Sometimes he was curious, like a child who wanted to learn more about the world around him. He wanted to figure out how things worked, what made them move, think and behave the way they did. This was usually a good thing because it meant that the person or object he was studying had a greater chance of surviving, at least until he got bored, which usually happened in say oh, ten minutes tops.

This time it was Tonberries. He wanted to know why they were named after berries. Did they taste like berries? Their pointed snouts and long tails made them look like fish with arms and legs. How lovely, a berry flavored fish. The thought made him laugh so hard that he tumbled off his throne and onto the floor. But it also made him curious, and so he decided to hunt them down and find out what they tasted like.

Now most people wouldn't even dream of hunting a Tonberry for their own amusement. But then Kefka wasn't like most people. He was just crazy enough to do it, and strong enough to take down a dozen Tonberries with the Light of Judgment. What? You think gods have something better to do with their time? I mean seriously, what else are you going to do after you've destroyed the world? Pick daisies in the sunshine?

Kefka left his tower and went in search of the infamous Tonberries. It didn't take long for him to uncover a small group of Tonberries living in the Yeti's Cave up north. Two of them had enough sense to flee the moment they saw him. However the third one thought it would be a good idea to stay and fight.

This was Master Tonberry, the leader of his race. He bravely stood his ground, his face illuminated by the light from his lantern, with shadows forming under his eyes and along the contours of his face. His eyes reflected the flickering firelight, piercing the darkness as he glared at Kefka from across the cave. It was enough to make the crazed magician laugh, his wicked cackle echoing off the wet, stone walls.

"Well, aren't you cute," he spat in contempt. Kefka spread his wings and took a step forward, doing his best to appear as menacing as possible. "You think you can stand against me when even the finest warriors have fallen at my feet, bleeding and screaming and begging for mercy. Well, go ahead, little one. Let's see what you can do."

The Tonberry charged at him and attempted to plunge his blade into Kefka's abdomen, but the god of magic easily dodged the attack. He raised his hand and conjured a searing bolt of lightning that struck the helpless creature just as he was preparing for his next attack. The Tonberry's lantern clattered to the floor, the flame went out, and within a matter of seconds he was dead.

"Ha! Another worthless opponent," Kefka muttered, kicking the Tonberry's lifeless body.

He reached down and pried the knife from its fingers, then began the process of gutting the creature with its own knife, a process he enjoyed immensely. His painted lips split in a wicked grin as he sliced through muscles and tendons, severing organs from the connective tissues that held them in place.

He ate the first piece raw, pausing to lick the blood off the dripping hunk of meat before sinking his teeth into the delicate flesh. He took his time, chewing it slowly and savoring the rich flavor. It was sweet, but it wasn't the sort of sweetness that one experienced when they bit into a ripe berry. It was more of a vanilla flavor, and if asked Kefka would say it tasted like death and cupcakes. Because that's what Tonberries taste like, death and vanilla cupcakes. But no matter. He now had the answer to his question, and the Tonberry's lantern and other accessories would make a lovely present for his precious pet.

.oOo.

When he returned home a short while later, he was greeted at the door by the one remaining Esper that had survived the destruction of the world. Floof the Second, an Esper that resembled a pink, fluffy sheep with cotton candy wool, ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his leg.

"Kef-baaa!" she cooed happily, all smiles as she nuzzled the silken fabric of his pants. The little Esper was too small to reach his waist, and so she had to settle for hugging his leg instead. "Kef-baa, I missed you. You bring home many berries, yea?"

"Not exactly." Kefka knelt down in front of her so he was face level with the tiny Esper. "The berries were awful, so I incinerated the whole stinking mess and left them to rot in the cave. However I did find something good while sifting through their remains." He reached into the sack he was carrying and brought out a lantern, a miniature robe, and a knife. "You said you wanted to dress up this year for Halloween, so I brought you a slightly used Tonberry costume."

Floof's eyes lit up when she saw the plush robe and lantern. She squealed with delight, hugging him tighter and thanking him for the lovely present. She was so excited that she could barely hold still long enough for him to help her put her robe on.

"You're the nicest, Kef-baa," she said, looking up at him as he adjusted the hood on the back of the robe. "Always bringing Floof such pretty things. Now Floof can go to Dewdrop Duck's costume party!"

She had just opened her mouth to continue speaking when the hood flopped forward into her face, muffling her voice and squishing her delicate, spun sugar wool. There was a slight pause, the silence broken by Kefka's laughter as she lifted the hood and looked up at him. His laughter made her smile, and she laughed too, completely oblivious to the fact that this "costume" came from the monster he slaughtered in the cave.


End file.
